Thursday, October 15, 2009

Hanging In There

I heard a song on the radio today that made me fall apart.
Fix You by Coldplay.
This song can make me cry every time I hear it, but the weight of the night before seemed to slam into me this morning.

I think the only place to rightfully start this story is to say, we are all OK.
(Nothing worse than a story that starts heavily and you don't know the ending)

I brought my son home from school yesterday after taking advantage of a day off from work to rest.
I nursed my aching throat, ears, and body with sleep, cider, and one good Christmas movie.
(I can't help it--I'm there!)
When I picked him up, one of his teachers told me he'd had a rough day.
He didn't go down for nap time and he kept rubbing his belly. He didn't eat his lunch. The only thing that soothed him was having her massage his tummy.
I was grateful for attention to him. Now it was my turn. I would watch this little boy and love on him with all I had.
My sore throat and aches would have to wait until the Hus flew home to take care of me.

I sat my midge on the couch and we turned on Cars.
Nothing wraps up a busy day at school like Ning-Ning (aka: Lightning McQueen).
I pulled out a blanket and huddled in the corner and watched him hold his cup of milk.
I love watching him watch Lighting.
He gets so enthralled--so in a zone--I get moments to appreciate his perfection in that kind of stillness.
That's when it happened.
His little arms and legs started to tremor and I had no idea what to do.
His head twitched.
I called out his name
He looked in my direction and seemed to become still again and alert.
I panicked.
What WAS that?
Did I just make that up?

It was 4:50 and the Dr's. office was about to close.
I called. I gave the symptoms: tremor, warm, hasn't eaten....
They told me to take him to the ER.
Even though the hospital is literally across the street--I didn't want to go.
He was OK now, right?
I had NO ONE there to help me physically.
I chose my last lifeline: phone a friend.
I hopped in the car and drove him in.

2.5 hours later they confirmed it was not a seizure.
One abdominal x-ray later and we find his stomach full of gas clouds.
He has an intestinal virus (and bonus a cold with an ear infection in both ears...thanks for the thorough exam!)

I was boiling hot, full of adrenaline, and felt so alone.
The hus' phone was dead--all he knew was that we were at the ER--and he was on a flight home.
A prescribed clear liquid diet and follow up with the pediatrician, there was nothing else I could do.

I told the nurse, "I feel crazy for bringing him for gas!"
She kindly told me, "Adults come in by ambulance with the amount of gas that's in his tummy."
By the end, my Midge was running around the ER in his diaper and converse making the staff say,
"So this is base line, huh?"
Yah...this is my Midge!

I had the prayers of our friends on the lines coming through to me via text messages.
I had offers to come sit with me while we waited--but tall I could do was be in that moment, wipe the literal sweat from my brow, and rock the screams away with the gentle hugs and swings of my body clutching his.In this crazy moment, all I could was pray.
In this moment that I was reaching down and pulling my little guy up with all I had, God was doing the same for em.
The outcome is good, my God is great...
Like a true woman, I am just now digesting it and will rethink it through a million times.
I am so tired.
I am so in awe.


  1. That would be so absolutely terrifying, and there's nothing like being alone when something does happen. Praise the Lord he was okay. We do serve a very great God!!

  2. Oh my heart...I am so sorry you had go through that. I can only imagine how your heart sank.
    I am so glad he is ok ... I will keep him in my prayers.
    Take care of yourself and heal yourself as well.

  3. Oh my goodness. I'm so glad he is okay. How scary! Especially when you don't know right away what's going on...

    Hope you're all feeling better!

  4. Oh my, how scary for you!!! I'm so sorry your little guy, and you, had to go thru that...but so glad everything turned out alright! Get some rest and feel better soon - you've been thru a lot!!

    :) T

  5. frightening....poor little fella. so glad everything is ok!
    have a good weekend and give out lots of hugs to the family~ that is sure to calm the nerves.

  6. Oh my gosh, that is my worst fear. I think you were smart to bring him in, you just never know. Glad to hear that he is okay. God is good!! Take care and get better.

  7. How scary, I'm so glad to hear Midge is ok. He will always be there with you, and what peace it brings to know that. Sounds like you all need a restful weekend.

  8. Oh my goodness!! I am so glad that your little guy is OK! I bet that was terribly frightening. I love the description of him running around in his converse!

  9. LEGS! I can't imagine going through that without my husband right next to me. You are a brave girl, and I'm so happy he's OK!

    LOVE to you and your sweet Ash. (Of course, Christan, too!)

  10. I am so glad you gave us the outcome first... it still upset my stomach reading it. Phew, thinking of you!

  11. How frightening...I have been there with my kids a few times and it's an utterly lonely place to be, the not knowing if everything will be ok. Your friends, faith and love pulled you thru this as it will every step and situation in your life. I'm glad everything turned out great for you and glad your little Midge is going to be just fine! XXOO

  12. Wow! How very frightening for you! I would have been so scared too! You held it together when your little guy needed you and all by yourself too! I hope that you are proud of how strong you are. So happy to hear that your little guy if fine. Aren't kids funny? When my son was little he would be so sick, but still capable of running around in the doctor's office like nothing was wrong! God is good! Have a great day.

  13. I am so glad he is ok! I'm sorry you are sick and had to deal with it alone.:( I think you all need to veg out this weekend and get well. God is an awesome God, isn't He. I am continually amazed by His goodness and grace!

  14. I have SOOO been there!! feeling so alone in a crisis- no-one around- looking for the "grown-up" to sweep in and take over- realizing I HAVE to do it ALL alone...then I am reminded I am NOT alone- He is right there...and He is using this moment to grow allow me to fully rely on Him! those still aren't my favorite "growing pains"- but they certainly become a Blessing! I am so glad your little guy will be better soon- and hope you feel better soon too!
    Big hugs and many Blessings! (and prayers too!)

  15. oh Allegra, I am so sorry you went through this all by scary. I am so glad to hear that he is doing ok, and it was nothing major. When it comes to our children we will walk a tight rope and run through fire if we have to, you did a wonderful job! I hope you all feel better soon! big hugs your way!

  16. when the kids are sick it's very scary. i'm glad you both pulled through and hope you are feeling better. God Bless, Susan

  17. sooooo glad it turned out well. get well!

  18. Oh Allegra, I can not even imagine. I'm so sorry to hear about your midge. I'm glad that he is doing okay though. I will pray he continues to get better. He is blessed to have a mom that is so in tune to his needs.

  19. How scary!! I was at the edge of my seat the whole post and so glad that your sweet boy is alright. So, so thankful!!!!

  20. Oh no! so sorry this happened. Fear would have had me wrapped up in panick, So glad you hear all turned out for you and your son.

  21. What a time ~ I can't even imagine ~ but you did it and he is fine. Life is scary...isn't it.