Saturday, October 10, 2009

Choice 3: Letting Go

Choice 3
Letting Go
The Commitment Phase
Letting go sounds so easy--when I think of putting down a pan or throwing a ball.
Letting go has never sounded easy when it came to releasing my burdens.

People always said, "Happiness is a choice."
I always wanted to hit those people.
(Sorry, Hus)
I just didn't feel like choosing to be happy, choosing to let go, made sense.
Of course I want to let my ish go but what did it mean to choose to do it?!

I'm starting to get it.

The book describes a cycle that our human nature tends to gravitate to,
a big giant, non-ending circle of Guilt-->Anger-->Fear-->Depression
and then it just starts all over again.

Been there, done that.

So What's Holding Me Back from choosing to let go?

The beatitude for this choice is "Happy are the meek"
"Meekness actually means 'strength under control'. It is surrender, submitting, agreeing to do what God wants done in my life."

I had never known that that is what meek meant. What I thought meant weak meant controlled strength. Oh, how I want that! It sounds so peaceful, so serene, so...beyond what I am capable of on my own!

"Problems far too big for me to solve are piled higher than my head. Meanwhile my sins, too many to count, have all caught up with me, and I am ashamed to look up." Psalm 40:12

I love this passage.
I have been so stuck in this. So frozen in, "God, I can't come back to you again. I don't deserve you!"
Oh, but I do!! I deserve Him!

...being afraid of what [I] might have to give up.
Part of my control issue is fear of losing my freedom but, "true and lasting freedom is choosing who controls [me]."
Will it be what others think of me? Will it be the unknown future? Will it be the unchangeable past? Who will I give the power to control my heart?

"If [I] focus on the problems--the individual tasks involved in making [my] dream a reality--[I] may never make [any decision]. Make the decision; let God worry about problem solving."
I don't need to think about how it will work out, I just need to make a decision and know that God will work it out!

& Doubt
"It's not the size of your fatih that matters; it's the who or what you put your faith in that matters."

So I guess, what am I waiting for...
"Look! Here I stand at the door and knock. If you hear me calling and open the door I will come in, and we will share a meal as friends." Revelation 3:20



  1. You are learning so much. I didn't know really what meekness meant either. I want that! Thanks for sharing your heart.

  2. this post is so valuable. it has me thinking..
    thank you for sharing this journey of discovery with us,

  3. Your honesty is so refreshing and you are very brave for posting your emotions. You'll get there..You are there.

  4. I love your honesty and I love this post. It's hard to let go, isn't it? ugh. But it's always so good when I finally do. Can't wait to hear what step at a time :)

  5. Wonderful post!! Things I need to hear and remember. I think I need to read that book.

  6. What a beautiful post!!! SO true...hard to let go...and wow!- never thought of "meek" that way!- I want that too!
    Thanks for sharing your walk with us...what a joy!
    Many Blessings!

  7. you are my cousin.

    that is just so cool.

    I love you sharing this journey with me. (ok, and the rest of us...)


  8. You my dear are growing... maturing! Letting go! It's not easy. We always want to grab those things back when we get into a panic. then we have to let them go again... it's a process... But one that is so worthwhile! I love the top quote about faith!

  9. Oh my goodness! I have just got to get that book! So glad you're sharing this. This is just what I needed to read today! Thank you.