Chapter 9: His Purpose

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I'll press forward in what I want to share.
The Power of a Praying Wife
by Stormie Omartian
Chapter 9: His Purpose

Lately I've been thinking deeply about my husband.
I have been thinking about who God made him to be and how I can support him in that.
Repeatedly I have heard the man I love say, "I'm a jack of all trades but I don't know what I'm made for."
I have always thought his many gifts are so amazing...if only I could do the things he does with the patience he has!
I don't think I understood what it means for a man not to be confirmed and affirmed in what he does until now.

My husband and I have always felt like we, as a couple, are missing a link to what He is wanting us to do, where He is wanting us to be and the other night I read a chapter that just struck me.
Chapter 9.
I felt spoken to about how deeply our purposes are intertwined and yet our own.
I just wanted to share this in case you don't have the book...in case you feel like your husband is struggling to find God's purpose for his life and in turn, you feel the unrest yourself.
It really touched me as a wife....

"Everyone has a purpose. It's the reason we exist. It's our life's mission, objective, or plan. Generally, we're here to glorify God and do His will. How that specifically translates in our lives is unique to each of us. Your husband needs to know the reason he exists. He needs to be sure his life is not just an accident, but that he's here by design. He must be certain he was created for a great purpose. When he discovers that purpose, and is doing what he was created to do, becoming what he was created to be, he will find fulfillment. This can only contribute to your happiness as well.

If I've learned anything being married two and one half decades, its' that a wife can't put pressure on her husband to be something, but she can pray for him to become it. She can pray that he be molded according to God's plan and not anyone else's. Then, who he becomes will be determined by whether he hears God's call on his life or not. For God has 'called us with a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace which was given to us in Christ Jesus before time began' (2 Timothy 1:9). Your husband is predestined according to the purpose of Him who works all things according to the counsel of His will' (Ephesians 1:11, 12). But you still need to pray that he hears God's call, so that who he is and what he does lines up with God's purpose for his life.

You can always tell when a man is not living in the purpose for which God created him. You sense his unrest. You get a feeling something is not quite right, even if you can't put your finger on what it is. When you're around a man who is fulfiling his calling and doing what he was created to do, you're aware of his inner direction, confidence, and deep security. How do you feel about what your husband is doing with his life? Do you lack peace about it because he is on a path that's unfulfilling, beating him down, or going nowhere? If so, then pray, 'Lord, take my husband from this place, reveal to him what You've called him to be, and open doors to what he should be doing.

Praying that way doesn't mean your husband will be pulled out of what he's doing and dropped into something else. It can happen that way, but often what takes place is a change in the man's perspective. I have a friend named David, who has worked for years in a factory, making airplanes. When he heard the call of God on his life, he knew he was to help troubled teenagers in low-income families. He also knew he wasn't to leave his job to do it. As it turned out, his work provided enough money to support his family while it afforded him exactly the kind of hours he needed to do what he had to do. He has organized food distribution to needy families, free concerts for underprivileged teens, Christian outreaches for the unsaved, and peace talks between rival gangs. He has done as much to bring restoration to his strife-torn city as a man could possibly do. His is by no means an easy job, but it is fulfilling. And he has a sense of purpose that is unmistakable when you're around him. Physically, he is not a large man, but he is a spiritual giant and you know it when you're in his presence. His wife, Priscilla, also hears God's call on his life and she supports it in every way she can.

Whatever God has called your husband to be or do, He has also called you to support it and be a part of it, if in no other way than to pray, encourage, and help in whatever way possible. For some women that means creating a good home, raising the children, being there for him, and offering prayer support. Other women may take an active role by becoming a partner or helper. In either case, God does not ask you to deny your own personhood in the process. God has called you to something, too. But it will fit in with whatever your husband's calling is, it will not be in conflict with it. God is not the author of confusion, strife, or unworkable situations. He is a God of perfect timing. There is a time for everything, the Bible says. The timing to do what God has called each of you to do will work out perfectly, if it's submitted to God.

If your husband is already moving in the purpose for which God has called him, you can count on the enemy of his soul coming to cast doubt-- especially if he hasn't yet seen anything close to the finished picture or realized the success he had envisioned. Your prayers can help cast away discouragement and keep it from taking hold. It can help your husband to hear and cling to God's revelation. It can cause him to live his life on purpose."

PRAYER:
"Lord, I pray that (husband's name) will clearly hear the call You have on his life. Help him to realize who he is in Christ and give him certainty that he was created for a high purpose. May the eyes of his understanding be enlightened so that he will know what is the hope of Your calling.
Lord, when You call us, You also enable us. Enable him to walk worthy of his calling and become the man of God You made him to be. Continue to remind him of what You've called him to and don't let him get sidetracked with things that are unessential to Your purpose. Strike down discouragement so that it will not defeat him. Lift his eyes above the circumstances of the moment so he can see the purpose for which You created him. Give him patience to wat for Your perfect timing. I pray that the desires of his heart will not be in conflict with the desires of Yours. May he seek You for direction, and hear when You speak to his soul."

Would you like an {OPPORTUNITY}?

You may remember that I mentioned these books recently.

All I can tell you is that as I go through the Power of the Praying Wife, my heart is opening in so many ways.
Daily I am learning about how my husband was designed and in turn, I am learning about the ways that I can compliment him better.
I love what this book is doing for me.

I realize that finding the time to read and the resources to buy a book when there are so many other needs & wants can be a challenge.
I really want to take that challenge away for all of you who want the opportunity to read this book but while I can't do it for ALL of you, I can do it for one of you.

If you need this in your life-- please leave me a comment so I know you are interested.
If you would like to email me and tell me why this 3 in 1 book is really calling out to you, I'd love to hear it but it's not necessary.
Last chance to enter is Tuesday at 8pm PST.
No need to follow, no need to share I just want to give you an opportunity for a heart-lift if you want it.
It's a short give away opportunity but I really want to get this mailed to someone this week!

4 Year Anniversary

Four years ago today, I got married.

It may not have been how most people would do it, it may have been a little crazy, but over the past four years I have grown to appreciate how we did it because at the time, it was the only wayMy husband and I dated for 4 months when he proposed.
1 month later we eloped.From the moment we announced our engagement, the excitement and anxiety of those around us rose.
Our impending nuptials seemed to rob me of my voice and give control to everyone else.
There were choices I didn't want to make like who would walk me down the aisle.
There were choices I did want to make, like where my wedding would be, but was told not to.
There were things I wanted to do, like abandon the tradition of bridesmaids, but that decision was made for me.
It ended up being about everyone else and nothing to do with us.

So, one night while hanging out with our friends, I decided we should drive to Vegas.
I gave my reasons and my fiance thought about them.
"When I asked you to marry me, I was ready that day."
So, after making one promise at his request,
"We just can't tell my mom"
We hopped in the car and drove through the night.

We stopped at a gas station and I found him a ring.
I tried it on his finger as he slept and twelve dollars later we were that much closer to OUR moment.

We arrived in the early morning, found an available hotel, and swatted at butterflies the rest of the day.

That evening, in simple clothes, we headed to the chapel.
With one minor panic attack that took us back to the hotel to re-think the elopement (that was all me)
we made it to the chapel to say our vows.(no joke, this was where we were married)

Despite the horrific tackiness, the video they gave us after we wouldn't budge on buying one committed to having zero proof, the dripping fountain, and our ceremony of choice: Christian (as opposed to Elvis and the like)
we said I DO.

The husband and I went on for two months not living in the same home and playing up our charade.
Eventually, two months before our planned formal ceremony, we were forced to speak up and admit our marriage.

Our families were furious and hurt.
Again, my moment was taken from me and defined by someone else--because I let them.

Today, I am so PROUD we made a decision for us.
I to this day, believe that we made the decision that was best for us and where we were then.
I wouldn't do it differently now but I wish the circumstance had been different.
If we had a wedding today, it would be everything we discussed.
We have decided though that we will have a 25th anniversary that will be what it "should have been" in the beginning.
So, October 8 is our Elopement/Vegas Anniversary and yes, we still went through with our formal ceremony on it's intended date, February 25...it just looked a little different then it would have.

It's been a crazy 4 years.
Lots of moves, new jobs, chasing dreams, and one baby later
we are here to stay!
Happy Anniversary, Love!
You have loved me whole.

these photos were inspiration for our original plans
click on images for their site

Baby In A Bag

On Thursday my Husband and I will celebrate our 4th Wedding Anniversary.

I have been scheming as to how to celebrate our journey.
I finally arrived at a family photo shoot.
The great thing about the Hus being a pro photographer is that we have amazing photos of our son. The bad thing is that we have no photos of the three of us.
So, I called one of his good friends and fellow photographer and, because he rocks, he's shooting us for free.

To announce the surprise, I decided to go shopping for coordinating outfits.
So out to the GAP I went.
Of course I only managed to find outfits for the boys but the show must go on.
I decided that I should give the Hus the gift ahead of time
(If he didn't like his outfit, I wanted him to think I was giving him the opportunity to exchange it)
I wrapped the goodies up in their GAP boxes and tossed them into a GAP bag and had the Midge drag it into give to Daddy.

When I looked up, the Hus was frozen with a grilled cheese sandwich caught in mid air inches from his mouth.
"Are you pregnant?!" he asked me.
"NO! WHAT? NO!"
"Then why are you both giving me a Baby GAP bag?"
*%&$ %#!# !#*#($
"No, I'm not pregnant. Just open it."

Talk about a buzz kill.

The poor Hus was excited despite the appearance that he was going to self defecate and I went and handed him a now sub par substitute gift...
"Nope, I'm not pregnant but aren't you happy with the little boy you have and the pictures we'll have taken?!"

Hmph.

Some Happy Anniversary Gift!

I won't be looking like this for quite some time:
Perhaps I'll share more about our unique anniversary tomorrow :)

Keys, Please?

Women as creatures are both friends and competition. Women as mother’s and wives? The same yet enhanced. As wives we fight for our husbands to break free from their mother’s talons, we ask them to choose us-put us first. As mother's we know their future does not include us being their number one, but how does the mother in us let go? As wives, we begin the sculpting process of our own family and at times, must play tug of war with the women who have defined their lives by their mothering us. No mother wants to let go, but we all must.

In the beginning there is the desire to be part of the “in crowd.” Being the new girl/guy at school, you play nice; you want to be liked, you want to be accepted. Soon, you’re “in” and the quest to be to be known and recongnized is yours. You spend a few years in a power struggle if you're all strong enough, each of you fighting for something different but desiring a similar end. At the root of our being as women is loyalty to those that are in our pack but to those who threaten the unity and the solidarity of that pack? Prepare for battle.

Perhaps we need a big meeting with coffee and gluten enhanced pastries and the opportunity to say, “My name is Allegra and I am the wife and mother of my family,” or “My name is Carol and I am a mom-aholic.” We need an opportunity to collaborate on how to work together as a team or simply hand off power. An analogy? Hm...here's one- As a mother, you build a house, you live in it, and then you sell it. Please, think back freely on the good times you had with that house, but you have to give the new owner the keys. You don’t drive up to that house every day anymore because it’s not yours, you can’t decorate it as you wish, you can’t tear down walls as you choose, you must knock every time and wait to be invited in. You must learn to love your own home and let the old home be enjoyed by someone new.

Indeed, I am a mother in my youth nowhere near handing my keys off to the next owner, but I do pray about the next owner and I know the hand off is just around the corner. Yes, I’m sure, one day I will understand exactly what I’m talking about and eat my words like they’re raw chicken, but you don't have to tell me that. At some point, if the transition is a tough one as I know many are, we are challenged to say, "Your old house is my new house. Thank you for the love and care you have put into it, but will you kindly give me the keys now?"