Thursday, October 8, 2009

4 Year Anniversary

Four years ago today, I got married.
It may not have been how most people would do it, it may have been a little crazy, but over the past four years I have grown to appreciate how we did it because at the time, it was the only wayMy husband and I dated for 4 months when he proposed.
1 month later we eloped.From the moment we announced our engagement, the excitement and anxiety of those around us rose.
Our impending nuptials seemed to rob me of my voice and give control to everyone else.
There were choices I didn't want to make like who would walk me down the aisle.
There were choices I did want to make, like where my wedding would be, but was told not to.
There were things I wanted to do, like abandon the tradition of bridesmaids, but that decision was made for me.
It ended up being about everyone else and nothing to do with us.

So, one night while hanging out with our friends, I decided we should drive to Vegas.
I gave my reasons and my fiance thought about them.
"When I asked you to marry me, I was ready that day."
So, after making one promise at his request,
"We just can't tell my mom"
We hopped in the car and drove through the night.

We stopped at a gas station and I found him a ring.
I tried it on his finger as he slept and twelve dollars later we were that much closer to OUR moment.

We arrived in the early morning, found an available hotel, and swatted at butterflies the rest of the day.

That evening, in simple clothes, we headed to the chapel.
With one minor panic attack that took us back to the hotel to re-think the elopement (that was all me)
we made it to the chapel to say our vows.(no joke, this was where we were married)

Despite the horrific tackiness, the video they gave us after we wouldn't budge on buying one committed to having zero proof, the dripping fountain, and our ceremony of choice: Christian (as opposed to Elvis and the like)
we said I DO.

The husband and I went on for two months not living in the same home and playing up our charade.
Eventually, two months before our planned formal ceremony, we were forced to speak up and admit our marriage.

Our families were furious and hurt.
Again, my moment was taken from me and defined by someone else--because I let them.

Today, I am so PROUD we made a decision for us.
I to this day, believe that we made the decision that was best for us and where we were then.
I wouldn't do it differently now but I wish the circumstance had been different.
If we had a wedding today, it would be everything we discussed.
We have decided though that we will have a 25th anniversary that will be what it "should have been" in the beginning.
So, October 8 is our Elopement/Vegas Anniversary and yes, we still went through with our formal ceremony on it's intended date, February just looked a little different then it would have.

It's been a crazy 4 years.
Lots of moves, new jobs, chasing dreams, and one baby later
we are here to stay!
Happy Anniversary, Love!
You have loved me whole.

these photos were inspiration for our original plans
click on images for their site


  1. Love this. :) My husband and I dated for 2 months, were engaged, and married 4 months later. It's amazing how some people don't take kindly to that kind of arrangement.

    You know, every person I've ever met that eloped has had family drama, and I just don't understand it. I got a little taste of it when I had my son, and my husband's family acted like children. Like they were the ones who just birthed a baby and whose feeling were the only feelings that mattered. :sigh:

    Happy Anniversary!

  2. What a romantic and powerful story. My husband and I married 7 months after we met, and we wouldn't have had it any other way. I totally understand why you wanted to keep the day PURE and about the two of you.

  3. Aww, that is so sweet! I admire you for doing that Allegra! To be brave enough. I was married when I was 20 and the wedding quickly became what everyone else wanted too. I wish I could turn back the clock and have a do over. Our anniversary is next month and I'm gonna show some pics, so you better not laugh! :)

  4. i can't believe you lived apart after saying your first vows...wasn't that torture?!

    have a very happy wishes for many happy years to come


  5. great story girl!!!!
    p.s. i can't get the video you sent me to load???

  6. Great story. Love that you decided to take control and make it about just the two of you. Congrats on 4 years. Love learning more!

  7. Love it - love seeing the pic of the chapel. BEA-utiful fountain. ;)

    I love that it was all you.

    I have always hated how people feel so entitled about OTHER people's weddings. Who should be invited, where it should be, etc. SO. LAME.

    Anywhoo - Happy Anniversary - you two are OH SO M.F.E.O.


  8. i just love coming over & seeing are a breath of fresh air all wrapped up in simple honesty...that is refreshing
    congrats to you & your sweetie too

  9. What a wonderful(sweet) story!!! and it was just perfect...what it should be...what means so much to YOU BOTH!!! I love "your story"...b.t.w.- I knew my husband 3 months before he proposed...and we married one month later...with a "real" wedding...and no- we weren't pregnant...just crazy-in-love! and still are today! 15 years and three kids later!

  10. I think it is perfect what you did!!! love you for your honesty and following your heart! xo

  11. I love this story! I've never been the girl to 'dream' of my wedding, and sometimes think I'm not normal. All it does is stress me out, and I know after the gobs of money 'wasted on one stressful day' I get fearful knowing if it will be worth it, and find myself thinking eloping is the way to go! :) Love the honesty. :)

  12. i love that story!!! i think it is sooo romantic! Happy anniversary!!!!

  13. Happy anniversary! I know so many couples who probably wish they'd done what you guys. Hope you guys have a special day! xo

  14. I am so glad that you did what you needed...because people that "love" you didn't let you do what you wanted. Love this song!!!!

  15. I love that you made a decision all about you and him. That is what that day is supposed to be about, not pleasing everyone else. My husband and I always say that if we had to do it over again...we would elope in a heartbeat.

    Happy Anniversary! Enjoy your special day!

  16. Happy Anniversary!!

    My husband and I got engaged after a month of dating, but we had a three year engagement since I wanted to be legally able to drink at our wedding. If it wasn't for being so young, I totally wanted to elope!! In some ways I wish we had.

  17. What a fantastic story....Congratulations on 4 wonderful years of wedded bliss!! I hope you have many happy years ahead.

    Your posts and pictures always bring a smile to my face:)


  18. Happy anniversary!


  19. I loved reading you and your husband's story. Our very first anniversary is next week, and we definitely sacrificed a few things for other's benefit. I really like that you stayed so true to what you wanted!

    Happy Anniversary!

  20. What a wonderful love love your honesty! Have a great weekend and Happy Anniversary!

  21. I love this - we did the same. I so wanted it to be about us, and not about our families wishes and "stuff". In the end, I wouldn't change a thing, but do hope one day to renew our vows with those we love around us.