Thursday, October 1, 2009

Choice 2: The Hope Choice

Getting Help
Choice 2
The HOPE Choice
I've always known that I carried years of hurt.
I had just mistakenly believed I was over it...most of it.
but the thing is,
"When we carry a hurt for a long time, we eventually find our identity in that hurt and become a victim."

I want to share this paragraph with you because I can feel how it has swollen my heart:
"As we work through the eight choices of this book, we will come face-to-face with truths about ourselves and our lives that we have tried to hid--and hide from--our whole lives. We begin to experience hurt and a sense of loss. This is the process of 'mourning' and it brings a whole new kind of pain. We mourn over our past mistakes, and we even mourn over our loss of control. In the end, God leads us to His comfort, if we will just trust in Him."

As it turns out, Grief is God's Pathway to Comfort and Pain is God's Antidote for Denial.

There is a beautiful quote in the book from C.S. Lewis,
"God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pain. Pain is God's megaphone to rouse a deaf world."

Despite where I have been, I have been blessed in an understanding that God has not done this to me.
The night He first visited me, I was fourteen and He told me, "It's going to be OK."
I spent days alone, blocking the sunlight in and battling him: Was it REALLY going to be OK?
And somehow I survived myself.
And it's MORE than OK even though I have my work to do.

"Just because God allows pain to enter [my] life does not mean that He causes the pain..Pain is often a consequence of [my] poor choices or the poor choices of others...The miracle is that he brings goo out of [my] pain by using it to lead [me] to His comfort and away from [my] denial."

I have chosen to believe, now I am choosing to receive.

I am begging Him to expose what I am hiding from and He is answering.
For the past three nights, I have had the most amazing dreams.
He has walked me into past shames and current life hang-ups and in my dreams,
I live the moment so vividly, I awake in true peace.
I awake feeling healed and in belief that those dreams were reality.
He is talking to me.
He is answering my call.
I have done what I know how to do for 27 years.
God willing, I cannot go another 27 years with hidden hurts that emerge when I least expect them.

I am no longer afraid to ask for His help.
I am ready for change.

If you are, too, I'd love the opportunity to pray for you.
Please email me.

Life's Healing Choices by John Baker


  1. Beautiful post! Those were some deep words. Love this, "Grief is God's Pathway to Comfort and Pain is God's Antidote for Denial." Wow...that's some real meat to chew on, thanks for sharing. He is setting you free.

  2. This was such a moving post. I deal with past pain and regret for some of the things I have done in my life, but He has turned them around for good in my life. It was going through the pain that led me to lean on Him, to seek Him, and let Him take me to a place of repentance and surrender, where there is freedom and I thank Him for that.


  3. There have been so many times in my life when I said, Lord what is it that you want me to learn? Sometimes, the answer comes quickly, sometimes it comes later, sometimes I still wait upon HIM to answer. Just maybe HE has answered, but my ears were closed. Praying for you; I have been in your shoes and I still am. There is one verse that comes to my mind.
    Hebrews 11:6 But without faith it is impossible to please HIM: for he that cometh to God must believe that HE is, and that HE is a rewarder of them that diligently seek HIM. KJB
    Praying for you and with you.

  4. ALLEGRA!!! God is SO AWESOME! I want dreams like that!! I"m so proud of you! It's not easy living through the pain and allowing God to heal us, but heal us HE WILL!! (He's cool like that) :)

    Happy happy day sweetie!

  5. I love that God is meeting you on your journey and revealing peace to you in what could be such an unsettling time. I am proud of you for taking that tough journey...I am so excited to hear more!

  6. So lovely!!! He has prepared you to be the strong woman that you are Allegra, embrace it, and set yourself free...

    :) T