Saturday, October 17, 2009

baby j

On Friday, my day off from my prescribed 9-5, I went out and had a baby shoot.
While the October weather had me sweating in 92 degree heat, baby J was all cool and calm.
I have to say, the nerves that piled up in me over this shoot were unreal.
I laid up the night before doubting myself--what if I didn't get the parents what they wanted?
what if I would have an off day?
what if I couldn't do this?!
None of it really made sense to me.
My Hus encouraged me. My soul sister prayed for me (have one of those? they're key! :)
The two people that knew how nervous I was were totally on my side.
THIS is what happens when I let fear get in the way:
I crumble.
The thing is, I love photographing babies.
It is so pure, so unfiltered, so raw.
There is so self conscious anxiety of the double chin, the wrinkles, the wind...
it's just love.
It's what we were all meant to be.
There is something in me that is frightened by being paid to do something I love--like take pictures of babies!
And while you all must be thinking, "Woah! Don't hire her!"
The thing is, once I was there, once I was with baby J and his 'rents...I was so OKAY.
The camera melted into my hands and the play began.
Not a moment of awkward doubt--not a second of fear when I was in action.
What a perfect little subject.
Only one baby J and I was trusted to commemorate his 6 months of life!


  1. dude. i don't know how you could doubt yourself after all those AMAZING shots you've taken over this past year, but I TOTALLY GET the doubt. Seriously.

    I hope this was a great lesson for you after this is that you are confident in your ability. YOU. ARE. TALENTED. beyond. you have the gift of an eye behind the lens that you give to those who hire you. And you are forever imprinted on their lives forever.


  2. Beautiful pics! You did an awesome job, but I completely know where you're coming from. I've wanted to start a photography business for years, and my husband has done nothing but encourage me, yet...there's that whole getting paid for doing something you love aspect or the I'm afraid of starting something and then failing... thoughts that make me so nervous.

    Sometimes you just have to think less and do more about it. :) Thanks for being such an inspiration!

  3. You take such wonderful shots! I know how you feel though. I am not at the point yet where I could even imagine getting paid for my photography. I get super nervous just taking pictures for close friends and family. I always have this nagging doubt that they will hate them or that the pictures will turn out horrible. Why do we women doubt ourselves so often?

    I cannot wait until the day that I am confident enough to go out on my own and know that I will do a good job. Stress is such a time waster!

    Love your blog and your photos!

  4. BEAUTIFUL pictures! You are so talented. Sometimes the anticipation is worse than the actual doing... did that make sense? :)

    I am doing good. Thanks for asking. I just need more hours in the day! How about you? I hope you're feeling better...

  5. Look at you....all good and professional;-) They turned out amazing.

  6. Beautiful boy and beautiful photos. You are so talented!

  7. Beautiful pictures and another post I can REALLY relate to!
    I've started a "word of mouth" photography business, something I am passionate about and I've wanted to do for a long time. That voice of doubt continues to "knock on my door". I pray daily for the courage to believe in myself.
    I'm not sure when or how I came upon your blog but I'm pretty sure I had "his" help getting here:)