Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Man Friends & A Wee Bit O' Prayer

Last night I cozied into bed in silence (admittedly after catching up on the Bachelor) and grabbed my nightly routine: The Power of the Praying Wife. Last night the book lead me to pray over my husband and his relationships. This prayer is a big one for me to pray. This has been a silent and intentional prayer I have had over my husband for two months now.

I am very aware that I cannot fulfill every part of my husband. I know that God should come first and I come next. I also know that there are pieces of who he is that cannot be completed in me- they must be fulfilled by other relationships: friendships.

My husband works two jobs: web design by week day and photography by weekend & nights. I need a lot from him. I need him to relieve the stress that builds up from caring for our family and home after I work. I need him to console me, hug me, relax with me, talk to me, work with me.

I am aware of how much I need and how much more he gives! I'm sure that I exhaust his ability to want to reach out and build male friendships, but I see how draining it is for him not to have that. It breaks my heart that in a time of struggle when I have a best friend to reach out to, he sadly laments that he feels he has no one--aside from me.

Last night as I prayed the prayer in the book, I felt it impressed upon me to encourage him to put effort into his connections. I yelled from our room, "You should ask your friend out to lunch tomorrow," and he responded with, "I just did actually." Hm... that's odd. I felt it impressed upon me to run something by him, run by him a revelation of sorts and see if it matched what his heart felt but I didn't know how and I didn't think last night was the time.

Today we had lunch together. We said grace before we ate and my husband's prayer was something along the lines of, "Lord, if you are talking, help us hear you. If we are missing something you are saying, reveal it." I was kind of confused by his prayer.

Did my hus think that we had been asking for something that He hadn't heard confirmation on? I asked him to clarify and he simply said, "No. I just believe He is talking all the time, we just don't hear everything He's saying."

At that moment, I felt the OK to proceed with telling him what I felt was revealed to me in prayer last night. I told him and prefaced it, "only you know if this will be truth or not."

Our conversation was deep rooted and meaningful. I felt as his friend and his wife that I was now commissioned with the charge to lift his prayer for meaningful friendships into action. I want my husband to be whole. I want a friend who doesn't give me what's left but gives me the best (as he does) and the only way he can keep doing that is if he has the other relationships that can round him out. I know how much I need MY friendships and how much freedom he gives me to cultivate those. I want that for him and I'm what I'm hearing is so does God!

Prayer is SO powerful!

{And as a completely random side note....I came home and found a package on my porch! I had NO idea what it could be and as it turns out, it was a gift from Martha! For emailing along her special 2 for 1 magazine deal, her peeps sent me her cook book plus a tote bag. Oh fabulous day}


  1. I read that book years ago and now feel like it may be time to go through it again. It seems that men, in generally, just don't have those tight friendships that us gals tend to have. They don't seek them, nurture them, but like you say, the day comes when they do need them. Love this post.

    (ps - Vienna?>> What gives!)

  2. i love this post very much. You keep getting me to get that book back out! You're a good wife! I love what he said about listening! Just wonderful!

  3. I know that this is an area that I need to pray more for Russ about. I'm on chapter 8 in that book (His fears). It's so convicting and such a blessing to pray for him. Thank you for the reminder of the importance of prayer in EVERY aspect of our husband's lives. XOXO

  4. This was a great reminder, thanks!

  5. Yay Martha! I love that God reveals things to us or answers prayers even before we ask them sometimes. It just shows He knows everything that is going on and has it all in control. xoxo