Wednesday, August 5, 2009

i'll do anything!!

I want to fix it.
I want to make it right.We are blessed with so much.
We are.
We have a home, we have running water, we have love.
We are the have's and NOT the have-not's.
There are moments though when what we have doesn't seem to be enough.
In those moments I pray for truth to invade and defeat the lies.

Christan and I share a common heartache: we are not the one's with our son every day.There are days-many-when I don't think I could be a stay at home mom.
That is a lie.
The truth is, I would be a wonderful stay at home mom but it isn't something I can fathom now because we have to work.

Some days we get caught up on our failures but the truth is we are fighting every day to make the dream work for our family. We DREAM of raising our son and only having a babysitter when we want to go out-- not because we NEED to work. Some days it's easy to see what others have and feel like we ARE the have-not's. It is easy to say, "It's not fair."

Today I feel consumed.
Tell me what to give up!
I'll give up anything not to know how much it hurts my husband to drop our little boy off.
I'll give up anything just to know that our little boy's smile doesn't break into hysterical cries because he knows he's being left again.
I'll give up anything!!!Lord,
help us find a way
fill us with truth
defeat the lies!
allow us to look to you!
close our eyes from looking out
keep us from wanting what others have
allow us to embrace our gifts
allow us to be filled with the joy of your love for us.
guide us
protect us
show us the way
give us the courage to obey
how can we live with less so we can embrace so much more?!
thank you for your goodness, Lord.

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