Tuesday, August 4, 2009


Oh my gosh, I'm crazy!
That must be it- I'm crazy.
Why am I cussing in my head and have a crazy desire to punch someone?
What is WRONG with me?!
Where's my calendar?
Ohhhh...of course.
I pull my hand from my pocket and reach out to shake the hand of my old friend,
"Hey, Hormones. So, it looks like we've got a few days together. Just so we're clear-I hate you!"
You're lame, Ovulation!
I guess my friend is right, "Knowing is half the battle."

Dear Husband:
You know yesterday when I was a cranky ______? I'm really sorry about that. I mean, I know I was tired but as it turns out, your favorite version of me is going to be around for a few days. Good news is, I'm still working like clock work SO when I do get on board with that 2nd kid concept, all will probably go as planned. Too bad having the kid(s) you love so much means having this Devil Wears Sale Items version of me around so much, eh?
Sorry. Really. I can't say it's worse being me than you but if you consider all inclusive self loathing (you know the: I'm fat, I am a bad mom, I hate our dirty house, I want new clothes, I want a vacation, I will never be good enough, everyone has it better than poor old healthy, blessed me....) worse, then I win, unlike when we play connect four. (You always win that game!) The good me will be back just in time to leave you alone with Ash for 4 days.
Wife of the year, right? I know. I owe you a boys weekend. Plan it before evil me comes back.
Gah, she's really a pain in the *$#.
NO matter what the crazy me says, dear, I love you and truly, I'm so sorry about her.
She really is awful!

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