I'm 10 weeks out from D-Day.
I'm pretty sure no one, including myself, really thought the day a #2 would be announced would ever really happen.
If you've been around this blog for any period of time, a common theme of mine has been my struggle with motherhood.
If this is your first time here, I should clarify- my struggle has never been with my son, it's
I think the odds are inevitably stacked against you if you
a) SURPRISE-got knocked up.
b) have no close circle friends with kids & you're the pioneer
c) will be a working mom when you don't want to be OR it's NEVER been done before in your family...as in, EVER
Mix those ingredients all together, and you get a...mess/disaster/self destructive catastrophe.
So, it appears I got over it, right?
I mean, I DID elect to shoot for the moon and add another one, right?!
I'm not sure I'm actually over any of the things that I struggled with the first go round but two things are different:
1: We planned this one (more accurately, we worked for this one).
2: I'm not the only one in the friend circle with a kid any more - I am just the only one going on #2 (crap)
How did I know I was ready?
I don't think I am ;)
We just knew that we wanted our son to have a sibling & we wanted our kids to be close in age.
There's a larger gap between #1 & #2 then we anticipated but, there's that little truth:
"We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps." Proverbs 16:9
Here's the difference between going from 0-1 then going from 1-2:
I'm not stupid this time.
I know what to expect in this rodeo & I know it ain't all magic & rainbows--
It's stitches, gauze panties, leaky boobs, sleepless nights, a whole lot of emotional break downs, & some damn good sweetness, too.
This time, there's a bit of apprehension:
crap: how do I divide in two (aside from physically, cuz I know how that one works!)? how will I get one kid to work with me and pick one up when my work day is done? how do I get in and out of a grocery store with a toddler & a newborn?
(Ok, now I have to stop putting the questions out here in the universe because I'm giving myself contractions.)
All this to say, for me, I don't think there ever IS a ready for #2.
There wasn't even a ready for #1.
It's just a choice, and you make it, and you do it.
You have your good moments & your bad ones.
You have your smiles & you have your tears.
I must say though, I am super excited to meet this little one!
I'm excited to finally have a name, to put the room together but I'm also taking the time to savor what's left of my time with my son.
Oh the journey....