Thursday, June 30, 2011

Surviving Division

What am I afraid to say, speak, and give light to here?
Who am I afraid I will offend, hurt, wound?
There are some things, some people, one can define by brokenness.
Likewise, there are moments, or hearts, one can define by survival.
I am survival.
I am survival with scars that can be ripped open, scabs that can be peeled back, by the shards of glass that hide under rugs survival has carpeted over.
At the end of the day though, I am strength, determination, and Saved.

I was born to two and became one in a unit of 5.
5 one day became 4.
4 one day became 5...times two.
Then 5 became 3 with 2 remaining that floated between 4 and 5.
One 5 always missed one and one 3 often missing 2.
It's the math of divorce & division.
You find your number and you fight to survive in a broken whole.
And then one day, if you fight, you become 1.
1 apart from the broken division who can stand as an independent whole.

You stand up, you walk out, you choose a new life.
You choose to Saved.

I am not afraid to speak or give light to my rebirth.
Truly Saved.
I cannot be afraid to wound when I only speak of what my truth is.
My truth is light, love, and everlasting life.
He defined me by forgiveness, divine intervention, & healing.
And on this earth, I do carry scars.
Scars that can be reopened by the brokenness of others.
Scabs that can be peeled back by my own memories.

Today I saw a scar and I shed tears--
for the division of the original 5 and all the 1's and 2's within the 7 key players.
Another 2 will exist together and on the outside I stand.
But theirs is not mine and I cherish what my 2 is.
Sadness exists for what is
but as quickly as it hurts, I bandage the wound and acknowledge it's real and move on.
No sense wishing for something new.
This is the reality of an original 2 that birthed a web of 7 and all were original victims but none must remain there unless they choose it.

I choose survival.

image found here


  1. This is very good. I totally understand. Debi

  2. I am forwarding to a daughter born of two but becoming a unit of 3 that evolved into four. 4 sadly became one in a unit of three times 2 and so on...... She needs your words.......Your scar may have opened but in the process it may bring healing to other survivors. Love, Me

  3. How are you and your bundle doing..... Sending love your way!