Wednesday, March 2, 2011

They Are New Every Mourning...

In worldly standards, today was a bad day.
In the eyes of my faith, today was a new day.
But here I am--struggling with a very real faith but my conflicting humanness.

I'm not sure what the steps of grief are in the wake of loss but I anticipate it's the range of emotions:
Tears, Anger, Depression, Numbness and then moments of feeling OK
My husband and I have been dancing with God for awhile asking Him what we are made for and what His plan is as we go through the day to day.
We are happy and we are so blessed.
In all of that though, we feel prisoners to a routine of unfulfilling financial provision.
Just last night we sat down for dinner and faced each other in love and admitted,
"I don't know what else to do."
We were "stuck."

Today God unstuck us.

Today my husband lost his job.

In this moment I am reminded:
"They are new every morning. Great is thy faithfulness."
Lamentations 3:23
And I hold so fast and true to that. I do!

But then there's this aching human heart I have that in the very same moment I hold faith, I hold mourning.
So I let my tears fall as I replay the news that came from the man I love.
I mourn as a wife for a man that I want to be reaffirmed by this world for who he is.
I celebrate as his faith filled partner that he has a better affirmation, a truer one in Christ.
A Christ who says He has plans to prosper us and NOT to harm us.
A Christ who knew we had nowhere else to move & took it away so He could move for us.

My head says that today was a bad day.
My heart says today was God's day.


  1. Allegra. I'm so so so sorry to hear that. I'm mourning right next to you.

    You did forget to mention ONE thing....

    that your FABULOUS husband was featured on Style Me Pretty today...and now that I read this - it makes THAT even more sweet.

    Love you guys...please let me know what I can do.


  2. Ugh. I have a heavy heart just from reading your words. I am so, so sorry for your fabulous hubby but am confident that God IS in control and there is a plan for you and your lovely family. Praying for you all. <3

  3. I am sure God has something bigger and better for your husband...I am sure of it, change is in the air and it is good!! hang in there love~

  4. Man, God's timing can be confusing sometimes. Praying for your family....He's setting you guys up for a miracle story that's for sure!!