JoY

Joy
Pure, unadulterated Joy.

I don't think I have known what that is for awhile.
What I did was fight.
I fought to be an independent woman.
I fought to be perfect.
I fought to resist the change that being a mother is to everything "normal".
I fought...
tirelessly and relentlessly.

Lately
I just feel JOY.
I feel freedom from perfection.
I feel released to live.

Instead of tallying the ways I rock in my head (I did the dishes ten times, I made the bed 6 times, I cleaned the bathroom 9 times...) I serve my home freely.
Instead of refusing to claim my address as anything more than a temporary stop on the way to the next best thing, I'm now taking down the sheets I used as curtains and replacing them with real ones, I'm testing paint colors, and I am living gratefully.
I am embracing a heart filled with Joy and a life abundant with Freedom.

The rain stopped and the sun came through the sky on Friday.
I gathered my little boy up for some play in the drive way.
When he ran right into a puddle in his freshly laundered shoes, I chose to laugh vs. cringe.
I scooped him up and went inside to slip him into his rain boots.
We walked up an down the street gutter while he splashed in the pools of dirty water.
I Loved EVERY SECOND.
(Even when he tipped over and was completely drenched in gunk)

Joy and Freedom.