A month ago I lost something...someone.
A month ago I had a broken heart.
Some days I feel guilty for being okay now.
Some moments when I'm sipping wine or eating sushi I think I shouldn't be and then feel selfish that I'm glad I am.
Maybe that is just coming around to the other side though.
One month ago when I stared lifelessly at the comings and goings of other hospital patients thinking I wouldn't be able to smile again for some time...
wishing I could just be alone
He found me.
I don't believe God took my unborn child.
I don't believe for a single moment that I was punished.
I know my God. I know His goodness like I know my best friend.
What I know is He doesn't waste anything
{Thank you, Shannon, for constantly reminding me}
He used this moment of brokenness to break my heart for Him.
and it HAS.
I am a different me.
I have new eyes to see, a new heart set on fire with a new love, and a passionate thirst for MORE.
My deliverer is delivering me daily.
My husband. My cousin. The friends I have allowed in--
they have lifted me up, covered me in love, and waited patiently for me to find out what this new outlook on my life really is as I let Him shape it.
I am grateful beyond words and on fire inside with praise that I am standing in confidence in what I have been given and how He is going to use me.
I just keep healing.
ready for it?
One Day At A Time
Some days I feel guilty for being okay now.
Some moments when I'm sipping wine or eating sushi I think I shouldn't be and then feel selfish that I'm glad I am.
Maybe that is just coming around to the other side though.
One month ago when I stared lifelessly at the comings and goings of other hospital patients thinking I wouldn't be able to smile again for some time...wishing I could just be alone
He found me.
I don't believe God took my unborn child.
I don't believe for a single moment that I was punished.
I know my God. I know His goodness like I know my best friend.
What I know is He doesn't waste anything
{Thank you, Shannon, for constantly reminding me}
He used this moment of brokenness to break my heart for Him.
and it HAS.
I am a different me.
I have new eyes to see, a new heart set on fire with a new love, and a passionate thirst for MORE.
My deliverer is delivering me daily.
My husband. My cousin. The friends I have allowed in--
they have lifted me up, covered me in love, and waited patiently for me to find out what this new outlook on my life really is as I let Him shape it.
I am grateful beyond words and on fire inside with praise that I am standing in confidence in what I have been given and how He is going to use me.
I just keep healing.
ready for it?
One Day At A Time
Your words are so powerfully moving...thank you..just beautiful!
ReplyDeleteBeautifully said. I'm so glad you have people around you who are loving you and encouraging you. Keep believing God IS good. That always encourages me. xo
ReplyDeleteHow amazing! I'm glad you are doing well and have a newfound passion for Him.
ReplyDeletexoxo!!!! thinking of you!!!!
ReplyDeletesuch beautiful words you write!
Love this testimony! I believe God uses every moment of confusion and pain to reveal to us something new about Him. He NEVER wastes pain!
ReplyDeleteI feel it girl! fabulous post! Fabulous girl. (and I don't throw that word around lightly! :)
ReplyDeleteGreat post! Encouraging words.
ReplyDeleteVisiting from Lissa's and
enjoying your blog.
Beth
He will use everything for good, thank you for sharing the proof of that.
ReplyDeleteSo glad to hear that sweetie. He is amazing!!
ReplyDeleteI am so proud of you, so happy you allowed this to be a testimony..you are a wonderful person and so loved, don't ever forget that my dear! xoxoxoxo, Tara
ReplyDeleteglad you are healing :o)
ReplyDeletei'm thinking of you and praying for you.
ReplyDeleteI just LOVE LOVE LOVE this post. It is so filled with hope, joy and reality. The reality of sadness and sorrow with the hope and joy that only He can bring in times like those.
ReplyDeleteI just LOVE you!!! xoxo
You are loved, and this post was fabulous.
ReplyDeletesee...i am checking in with you while on vacation.
don't worry...i won't hog all the hot surfers to myself;-)
xo
Beautiful post, I completely understand all your emotions you've been experiencing, Love heart!!
ReplyDeletexo,
LuLu
Once again, your writing was a blessing in my life today. I've been listening to a lot of sermons on trials lately and you have come to mind as an example of how the Lord uses those trials in our lives to better us and draw us closer to Him. Thank you for being so open and honest and willing to share your heart with everyone. God is using you in powerful ways!
ReplyDelete