This is what Mom's do....

I wouldn't call myself a helicopter parent.

In fact, I err more on the side of not wanting to upset the team, the school, the professionals, vs. raising cane on behalf of my sons.

I don't need my children to be the all star athlete (thank goodness, because they can't run without tripping), I don't need them to be straight A students (please don't be smarter than me!) & I don't need them to be the most popular (Actually, please don't be. That's too much unhealthy pressure!)

What do I want for my children then? 

I want to figure out who they are & give them every damn opportunity to be bold, confident and brave in those areas! (And perhaps I want to infuse their lives with a bit of my own selfish passions like love of adventure & a heart for Jesus.)

In the past month my inner mama-bear has been tested.

We walked into a new school system with two months to go in the school year. It was quickly brought to my attention that my son is "behind his peers" and "it's on [me] to catch him up." I was less quickly given options, assistance, & direction. It really was ON me. 

At eight years old, my second grader is scholastically passionate and seemingly statistically average. What do I say to that? BE passionate, son! I don't care what grade you get; I care that you try your hardest, I care that your eyes light up when you imagine seeing the Statue of Liberty in person, I light up when you spew facts you learned in class or ask questions we have to look up answers for together. THAT is success to this mom. 

I have NO problem with my son having a deficit or area of improvement. I don't expect, need, or anticipate perfection, but if there IS an issue, I will do whatever I can to give my children a leg up, to bring their head to the surface, to throw them a life raft, and/or to provide them with opportunity. When my son's teacher told me he was behind I asked: what can I do, where can I go & how can I help? But instead of answers I got: google it.

I started to feel crazy! How far behind is he? How much help does he need? What kind of help does he need?

I've been conflicted. I excused the teacher's distance with "it's the end of the school year....it must be frustrating to get a new student from a different state..." and I began to own what was "on me" to help him with. I began chasing down avenues for myself. I would not raise cane, it's my fault we are the inconvenience...

This is what Mom's do, right? We worry. We love so big our hearts explode and our brains are never off. How can we BE everything our children need while still being our selves and honoring our marriages as the priority?

To make a long story short, I had NO idea where to turn, I had my son assessed at Lindamood-Bell Learning Processes. As a mom, I needed to know how behind was my son? Was the teacher not teaching or was my child drowning (in her one week time with him). What I got was peace of mind. My son wasn't behind at all! He was ahead of his current grade level in his ability to comprehend and every piece that is involved with that. I cried. And then I got angry. I was furious I had spent weeks worried and wondering if I had missed something these last few years of his schooling. I was livid his teacher hadn't given me resources, hadn't offered to teach him what her classrooms processes are, I was angry at her.

When the kids were in bed & my husband was asleep, I sobbed until 2am. I mourned the work of our cross state move, the frustration with the school system, the exhaustion I felt emotionally. I praised God that I had answers, I had gotten help from friends, that I now knew what to do. I unloaded all of my feelings and questions and doubts and thanks that had been stuffed so tightly in but I now had permission to move past.

This is what Mom's do, right? We worry. We love so big our hearts explode and our brains are never off. This is what we do. We lay our hearts down at each morning drop off, pick them back up at each afternoon pick up, question our sanity, practice-practice-practice patience, strive to balance scholastic expectation with normal childhood needs along with sharing our faith, answering their questions, and providing them with a healthy family. This is what we do. And the job never ends, but if we're lucky, we know we aren't alone. I know I'm not alone. I've got a merciful God who reminds me to show that teacher mercy, to forgive, a God who asks me to lay my burdens at His feet even when I think they're mine to cling to, and a God who lets me weep & in the weeping shows me He loves ME just like I love my boys.

This is what Mom's do. 

The Gift of Experience

Christmas is coming.

I love this season for the magic it brings. Twinkling lights, Rosie Thomas Christmas music, the smell of a fresh turkish fur, chilly weather, decorations, & the spirit of intention; that's what I see in the still small anticipatory moments. I fear however, like every month, the time ushers past me too quickly and I'm caught up in the navigation of daily life with the added holiday agenda.

Already I am dreaming of Christmas morning and seeing the faces of some of those I love opening up presents. I have spent possibly too much time considering just what to wrap up for them before purchasing. Then there's the worry that my children will MISS the reason of the season: Jesus. That I will miss JESUS in the season!

Yesterday, in an epic toy explosion we call KK, we had the chance to examine every single toy we own strewn out around the living room. Wide eyed, my husband and I stared at each other: this is NOT what we want!

I shared, "Sweetie, I really WANT to ask people NOT to get our children toys for Christmas," and he acquiesced.

Now before you think I'm a horrible mother trying to strip the magic of Santa's delivery or rob grandparents of their ability to love long distance, it's NOT that I want to rob my children, it's quite the opposite, I want to GIVE to my children. I am not against the idea of gifting (after all, it's MY very own love language. I LOVE gift giving). What I want though for my children is the gift of experience.

I know, Skylanders are an experience (a technologically odd one but an experience none the less), blocks expand the mind, remote helicopters are fun (for dad), & nerf guns are fabulous but they all lose their magic. Each toy that was so highly coveted soon becomes a thing of the past and only remembered if in generations to come they are resurrected again, like Ninja Turtles or Strawberry Shortcake. What takes longer to dissipate, what builds bonds, what grows relationships is the gift of experience.

From my childhood, what I cherish most now is the gift my grandma gave of The Candy Cane Tree. Before she arrived at our house, she'd hang a barren tree with dozens of candy canes. All three of us would line up at the end of the street and at the word GO would race down and strip the tree of it's new peppermint leaves and see who won the "who got the most!" contest. I remember all of the clothes we would get and between cousins our eyes would meet and silently say, "I can't wait to return this with you on our after-Christmas shopping trip!" I LOVE the annual gift my Aunt and Uncle gave us of family bowling WITH team shirts. And of course, there is always the gift of Christmas Dinner at the castle. Gifts of love, time, & laughter that just STICK in my heart like cinnamon roll frosting on my fingers.

I don't want my children to relive my experience and the magic it brought me. I want them to have their own. I want them to be sown into with opportunity: college support, swimming lessons, a chance to go to the movie theater, an art class, a pottery painting hour, a date for a shake at Sonic, a trip to Dutch Brothers for a hot chocolate. Some of these experiences are less than $5 and give the gift of living life outside of our own financial ability to provide or sustain.

The humbling part is that I realize in writing this that my wish to dictate what is given to my children is selfish. I want to orchestrate the love that is sent to them, given to them, doted upon them to fit within my parenting dreams.

In this moment, I stare at the sea of legos, the ninja turtle figurines, and the endless supply of hot wheels and wonder, is this not relational experience too between brothers? Perhaps I am off base. The heart of this rant, however, is my acknowledgement that time is invaluable and what an amazing opportunity to gift others in our lives with small gifts to encourage relationship. At the very epicenter of my heart is the desire to spend less time frustrated at the chaos of cleaning & more time GIVING LIFE to my family in the art of making memories.

{Looking for ideas on how to give non-toy gifts?? Check out this post!}

Recovering from Recovery

We have come through to the other side of Kheler's post surgical recovery! 

We made it! 

It wasn't like we expected, yet we didn't actually know what to expect.

It was hard. 

You know how doctors give you those "there's a 10% chance x, y, & z could happen" statistics and you think, "Well, THOSE are great odds!"? 

Well, they ARE good odds, but we weren't the 90%, we were the 10%. 

I circled my emotional drain multiple times a day. 

Each morning I started my day on my 1/8' of the bed with the verbal proclamation, "I can't do this!" and I meant it. It wasn't a hypothetical statement, it was one I believed in my core. 

It turns out, we have a VERY strong willed, determined, and stubborn son. All three years of him convinced us that he will become a doesn't-take-dookie Navy Seal Commander. That kid had my husband and I, two people on the same team, convinced the other was an under cover spy working for the enemy. 

We had a son who had become a popsciletarian, anti-beverage, and could be a poster child for DARE...he WOULD NOT take the drugs! I mean, bravo to him, I hope it stays that way, but in this particular season, we were practically {no, we actually were} pinning him down, blowing air up his nostrils to get him to open his mouth long enough to super-soak his throat with hydrocodone only to watch him volcanically erupt it back in our direction. Did you get winded by the ridiculous length of that sentence? It was worse in real life.

In all of it's empty, ugly, exhausting, heart breaking misery though, there was life being planted for us. 

The only comparison I have now for what we went through and now being on the other side is that it was like depression. When you are depressed, truly, dark hole, desolate depressed, you can't even fathom what a smile feels like or remember what happiness FEELS like. People TELL you you will feel it again, but the numbness has spread too deep. 

This was like that. I KNEW it was temporary, but I COULD NOT see the light. I could NOT get on my knees and pray...I could only beg. My prayers became like tick marks on a prison wall, "Just make it stop. Make.It.Stop!" I KNEW there was an ending, but I didn't see how we were going to feel normal again. And in ALL of that, I felt greedy for taking up air space with God. 

Who was I to be praying for a fever, a bleeding throat, a child who was fighting me to get better when there are others with so much more persistent pain? 

I found myself void of the reality that this inconsequential moment in my life MATTERED to Him.

But that's where He worked. 

He climbed in the holes others were keeping Him FOR me. 

He lived in my neighbor who lovingly shared her empathy and was my guide through this. He used her as the echo reminding me, "You're not alone!"

He breathed through my best friend who sat on the other end of the phone letting me be angry and telling me, "I'm sorry," which was exactly what I needed...just to vent.

He lifted me up through my girl friends as we tri-talked via group chat in facebook. When I went silent, they said, "Get real with us!"

He hugged me & spread His covering over me through the servants heart of a friend who put together a meal train, made treat and present deliveries and showed up at the ER the second time Kheler had to go in.

He stared me in the face each time I opened my door and found a balloon, stuffed animal, gift, flowers or a note from a complete stranger wishing us well.

My friend Carin wrote the most beautiful blog & included a bit about our walk through this recovery. She wrote, "I felt like walking behind her that week with a sign pointing at her that read 'BE NICE! She hasn't slept in a week and her baby boy is really really sick. Buy her a coffee.'" And it made me CLING to the reality that we are LOVED, we are PROVIDED for, we MATTER. It makes me want to LOVE out harder, more compassionately, more sacrificially, more intentionally than ever.

It was dark. It is light again. We each have our seasons where we need someone behind us with a sign. Who are you holding the sign for right now? Who do you need to hold a sign for? Are you the one who needs the sign? 

Know this, the sun always shines again.

Tricks of the Save

Ok so saving money tricks is one of my favorite topics! I talk a lot about it lately with other women and of course with my husband as we have now celebrated the accomplishment of 8 years of HARD and focused work!

8 years ago, my husband & I took financial counseling at Saddleback in Orange County when we were first married. We started our marriage with over a combined $80k in debt from from both college & business loans that we were locked in to but that we wanted to be free of to achieve our goals. 

Our family goals included 

1. Buying a home

2. Traveling

3. When we had kids, that I could be a stay at home mom

In the early years, my husband made about $15 and hour and I made $13. We were living on the pennies left over from car payments, student loan payments, and business credit card debt. In our first apartment, we had all hand-me-down furniture that included a lovely set of christmas colored chairs & an ornate glass dining table. We didn't have a couch or living room furniture aside from a television that didn't even have cable and an ikea coffee table. But in it's own right, it was the magic of starting off.

So, we pursued change!

Between the financial tools that Saddleback gave us together & the classes Christan took with the Dave Ramsey plan, we kicked out all debt about four years ago. That makes it sound easy, but it wasn't. It included

PAYING a car dealership to take back one of our cars, carpooling, doubling up credit card payments, doubling up student loan payments, knocking out debt one debt at a time until 1 year ago we were entirely debt free. It included other sacrifices like not having cable {which we still don't have}.

If we HADN'T done this, two years ago when we BOTH lost our jobs we would have lost our home. As it was, we had no car payments and no pending debt we owed on. We had an emergency savings account we had poured into at Dave Ramsey's teaching and it "paid" for one of the hardest years of our life where we DID have to sell our home and move out of state to find work. However, today, after just celebrating a year of employment we have accomplished remaining DEBT FREE, buying a new home, and owning two new cars. It's HUGE for us. 

How do we do it now?

-We are on a cash only system. With each pay period I pull out our cash for things like Groceries, Gas, Clothes, Dates, Babysitting & Gifts. I have all of our cash organized in a coupon filer. When the cash is gone, we don't spend. 

-We have an amazing budgeting tool we were gifted from Saddleback that we use to help us figure out where the money goes and how much we have for the necessities as well as the fun. 

-We have a spreadsheet that shows which bills fall into which pay period so I know exactly what goes out and when it goes out by week. 

Other Savings Tricks

Every morning I do 3 things:

1. Load coupons to my Freddy's card. The coupons I load to my grocery shopping rewards card are automatically deducted at check out + they let me print my coupon/shopping list to help.

2. Check couponpro 

​3. Check groupon & living social for family activities & restaurant deals  (the reality is we WILL use them at some point and we LOVE adventure so we budget for it and pre-plan for it. My motto is without a plan both time and money are wasted)

I also....

1. Do a lot of online shopping in order to save! I use ebates to shop because they give me quarterly cash back kick backs for just linking my shopping through them & retailmenot to always check from promo codes before I check out.

2. Use my YELP app wherever I go! There are often check in incentives like a free drink, 10% off, etc.

3. Use Target's Cartwheel App + the Shopkick app when I'm at Target because I save a lot

4. I always plan ahead - if something is one sale and I know we use it, I buy it {clothes, gift cards through Freddys, cleaning supplies}. I keep a back stock so nothing is ever an urgent purchase.

5. I recycle. We often have soda cans and water bottles in stock so as we drink I save them and I take them to Costco or the local grocery store to recycle. It's worth the couple dollars I get back from that for me me to put towards my groceries.

6. I Christmas shop & Birthday shop all year long. I keep the gifts in my closet so it spreads out the financial "burden" of gifting {which I love to give gifts}

In the end

Saving is a way of life for me. 

I value it & it IS my job. 

My husband has asked me to track how much I save and when I save so we can truly understand the income I currently make with the hard work that goes into PLANNING, RESEARCH, & SAVING.

I am tremendously GRATEFUL that we have taken the lessons we learned early on seriously. There were times we felt desolate and utterly discouraged as we looked at other people and what they had. What we have experienced in the last year as a result of YEARS working to better our financial situation, however, is irreplaceable. I don't see what we don't have. I see what we DO.
We live on one income, I am home with my kids, we LIVE life & I LOVE that! It's worth all my time learning and saving.

What are some of your tricks??

Coupon Crazy

With a family that has been sick for 2 straight months and medical bills mounting, I've been determined to find ways to save money & also prepare for a future that includes a new sweet baby!

This weekend while my two very sick guys healed & I played nurse, I did just that: deal hunted.

Project 1: Bedding for the Big Boy Room
It just so happens I love expensive things BUT the best thing is I won't buy expensive things.
So while I LOVE a specific Serena & Lily bedding set, I absolutely refuse to spend $150 on a single comforter that will get spilled or puked on.
While I had to compromise on the ultimate look, I was able to find an adorable quilt at Marshalls after weeks of looking for only $30.

Project 2: Begin to store up Diapers
Through AmazonMom & some coupon codes, I was able to start setting us up to receive boxes of diapers to prepare for the new ones arrival. Instead of having all of the expenses hit us at once, we want to start preparing for the budget adjustments now.I was able to get 1 box of Newborn Pampers Swaddlers for $13.15 (free because we had a gift card however from an earlier purchase on LivingSocial.com) & 1 box of Size 1 Pampers Swaddlers for $19.96.
In addition, I signed up for Parents Magazine (which is the place to get the 20% Amazon coupons).
I got the 1 Year Subscription to the magazine for $3.56 by subscribing through magazinedealsnow.com & applying an additional code MPS10.
The savings I'll get from the $3.56 investment will be well worth it!

Project 3: Scour my favorite Money Saving Blogs
I ended up setting myself up with a new email address just so I could sign up for new coupons and deals and my personal email wouldn't get flooded. (I got this idea from my cousin when we were Flea'ing!)Over the weekend I was able to get a free Toddler Snack Kit from BeechNut, get a free stick of Secret Deodorant, get a buy 1 get 1 free at Chipotle, get 2 free Nivea Chapsticks, & stock up on the husband's face wash--2 8oz bottles of Clean & Clear for a total of $6.50 (regular price for one is $6.99).

Ultimately our thoughts in this house are, the more we can prepare now, the better off we will be in August. In general we like to keep back ups of our usual needs like detergents, paper towels, shampoo & conditioner, etc. so in case we ever ran into a job loss or financial stress there would be some essentials we wouldn't need to worry about right away.

What ways do YOU save?
What are YOUR favorite saving blogs or tips?!

A White Thanksgiving

We celebrated Thanksgiving on Friday and in our home for the first time.

With a few Fall touches set up around the house early in the week,
I actually had time to enjoy a piece of a season that generally flies by.

My plan this year started with white and kraft paper and shaped itself from there thanks to a few borrowed pieces from my cousin and a husband who let me spend the night shaping the table as my mood struck.
This was the end result:

The table cost me a total of $20 in new purchases:
Tablecloth: $10
White Pumpkins: $5
White roll of paper: $2
Place Tags: $3
My favorite piece ended up being my make-shift white paper table runner!
With the Martha Stewart Lace paper punch, I took a standard white roll of paper typically used for children's art and punched away until it fit the length of the table.
The natural look of the table ended up feeling relaxed yet special.
Exactly what I wanted.

While the wine cork place card holders didn't seem appropriate for the kiddos;) clothespins worked & kept the look cohesive.
With a few nuts in a glass container & some crayons, the munchkins were good to go at their own table!

With the loving words of my husband,
"Thank you for making this so special. Things like this are easy to just let go by. I'm thankful you did this,"
It was worth it and so fun!

To my honey,
Thank you for encouraging me to do what I needed to make Thanksgiving special and loving through my "too much to do" spasms! ;)
You make my world right.
I love you.

*please do not use any photos without permission & appropriate credits.

Planting Love

Back in May when we bought our first home, I lovingly named our new project "Beauty for Ashes." It became that for me for a number of reasons, but the obvious is that the house had been abandoned, unloved, and forgotten.

My husband has wanted to own a home for years. For some reason, it was something that was hard for me to believe could happen (especially in California!) We had looked throughout the years but I always had a hard time seeing "potential" in what we could afford. I had unrealistic expectations for our first home and I didn't know how to get past them. Every time we looked, I never had anything good to say...until this house.
When I saw this house, I saw what it could be! I saw what it was going to be! I saw a home, I saw love, I saw a dream that could actually come true. It was oddly, my husband this time who took convincing. Like I said--it was pretty disgusting inside and out (we didn't even get decent photos of how horrible it was before landscaping demo cleaned the dirt up!)

4 months later, the house has a new face and above all, it has a new heart!
It will continue to be loved whole, it will continue to be seen for it's potential, and it has become beauty from ashes.

{The fence was a big project!
In the first photo you can see it was oddly pushed back from the curb and cut in around an access box. We pushed the fence out and squared it off so our munchkin could have more space to play!}

It is not lost on me how blessed we have been. It may have been overwhelming in unexpected ways, but it has been an incredible blessing!
We are so thankful!

PROJECT: Wallpaper Shelving

Mission: Add Some Back Splash!

Inspiration:

As it turns out, what I thought I came up with in my head is actually a big trend at the moment--using wallpaper to spruce up the mundane!
Here's one source for example!

So, for the cupboards in the first photo--which are filled with stuff that "isn't quite in it's place yet"--I am trying to figure out which route to go:
contact paper, wall paper, gift wrapping paper.

I just need a little something without a whole lotta permanent commitment!

Making House a Home

The new house continues to come together....
baby steps.
A LOT of baby steps!
I keep finding that things don't seem like they are "in their place" yet.
Know what I mean?

So many new nooks & crannies.
So many open spaces.
So each day we live here--or I should say, each day I slow down a bit and breathe--I figure out a little more of what makes the house feel like home!

At the end of the day, it's the people that live in the house and the people that visit the house that make it home.
It's true.
But I do love styling it and surrounding it with beautiful, bargain friendly things!

Details

I've had a slow weekend and it's given me the opportunity to really sit in my house and start to settle it from a place of joy vs. distress. Let me tell you--it's been nice!

So while I'm nowhere near a big reveal--hence the large mirror on the floor in the picture below--I am at least able to start sharing some DETAILS. These cloches were an amazing find this weekend at only $9.99 each--pedestal & dome!
I went through my goodies and created a centerpiece for our dining table.
Until I make a plethora of treats to fill these, I thought it would be fun to fill them with things that make me smile: wine corks, giant pearls, vintage doily & burlap wrapped candle, and a LOVE trinket from my friend!Our kitchen has large open space above our cabinets. I instantly wondered what on earth I'd do to fill the space appropriately & reflected our style.
Thanks to the Pasadena Rose Bowl & my friend, I had all the pieces I needed.

This little lovely, the cart that is, came from an impromptu spree to my local antique store.
I woke up this morning feeling like, "I have to go today!"
I found 7 vintage orphans that now belong with me!
We have a large and beautiful antique kitchen table space around it that has just felt incomplete.
When I saw this, I knew...I needed a mini bar!

Well, until the next several projects shape up, this is what is new for today!

Tequila Soaked Sorbet

Sometimes life needs a little simplicity

A LOT of laughter
and a sip'a liquor.
Here's the PERFECT recipe!Tequila Soaked Sorbet
1 pint lemon sorbet
1/4 cup best-quality tequila
Finely grated zest of 2 limes

I had the perfect excuse to try this amazing treat when a Mexican themed progressive dinner was arranged to celebrate our friends who are moving out of the area.
My house was the last stop--the dessert stop--so we wrapped up our high volume laughter evening with Senor Patron & some Trader Joe's Sorbet.
(*note, Mango is not the best option but Raspberry & Lemon were a hit!)

Although it had nothing to do with us and everything to do with loving on our friends, this was our first soiree in our new home!

Bedroom Inspiration

Two years ago we moved into our current home the very day we brought our son home from the hospital.
It was our very first house we'd live in together and we became a family here.
Through our years in apartments, I never made where I lived mine always knowing I'd have to leave--until we came here. We put paint on the walls and started to shape our style.
HOWEVER
the one room that never got touched with any sort of love was our bedroom.

Despite picking out paint chips and the dreams of making it a romantic place,
we never had time, we never invested, we just made do with what we had.
It never felt relaxing, it was just a place to get to the next day.
All of that over share being said--
Our new Master Bedroom WILL BE TRANQUIL & A WISH come true! ;)Our bedroom's colors are Benjamin Moore: WISH + 1 accent wall of TRANQUILITY
Our bedding is already very similar to the bedding above only now our room will have the well loved (aka: vintage) touches and sunshine accents of yellow throughout.
I found some gorgeous lamps like the one pictured above at Marshalls for $40 each (the one above was from Target and $219!)
Our current entry table will be re*purposed to become our bedroom dresser and is actually more beautiful than the one above (a flea market find for $110).
I found a gorgeous armless vintage chair on craigslist for $50 and scored an upholstery fabric very similar to the Pottery Barn swatch above for $6 a yard!

I am counting down the days to having our very own bathroom, walk in closet, and space that is just about US!

Wishful Restroom

I've been busy.
One of those busy things has been a little overwhelming and just today, got fun!
We get our KEYS next week and I'm finally starting to play.
We have our wall colors picked
(kinda scary considering we won't know what it looks like until we move in)
and now it's down to the details!
Our palette is all considerably soft and natural.
Just thought I'd start sharing my inspiration boards.

The Guest Bathroom:

Our wall color for the guest bathroom is Benjamin Moore: WISH.
The hallway wall and our son's room which will also have an influence as they surround the bathroom are Benjamin Moore: HUSH & AGAVE.
With that palette in mind, I became incredibly inspired by the idea or romance & retreat.
All of these pieces are my ultimate restroom inspiration but would require a massive splurge on the shower curtain--which I swore I'd never do again--so, we'll see!

Shower Curtain: Anthropologie, $80
Zinc Letters: Anthropologie, $14 each
Apothecary Jars: Crate & Barrel, $54 for the set
Flower Box: Urban Outfitters, $12

A Ca$h kind'a life

Living on Cash is something that I feel I am hearing a lot more of these days and yet it is something my hus and I have literally always done. We have an emergency credit card but we learned early on to live only with what we could afford. Today there are courses by people like Dave Ramsey who are teaching people to live the way we have for over three years.

During the course of our marriage, we have felt financial discouragement as we've felt like we've watched the material world surpass us but all along the way we've said, "We're doing this the right way for us." Now we are encouraged as we listen to people like Dave give financial tips that we already have in place because we had to. They are things that we have just done on our own and they have set us up for a stronger future (which has been what our temporary sacrifices have been ALL about!)

So I wanted to take a minute to share some of the ways that we live within our means...

No Cable. $100 a month is a lot to watch TV. During our first year of marriage we decided that we would not have cable so we would invest our time more wisely in each other. This has been an awesome choice for us. We utilize Netflix instead for $15 a month

Virtual Cash Envelopes. We use mint.com for our monthly budget for Groceries, Baby, & Date Nights. Each time we spend money, we reclassify the expense by logging into mint that's connected with our banka ccount so it deducts from our monthly allotments. It keeps us very focused on spending wisely, using coupons, and within our budget. Many people use actual cash envelopes but to us, taking out our full monthly allotments at once isn't an option and it's less convenient to go to the bank. If you can be organized enough to go virtual it works.

Entertainment. This falls under the date night category but we've found great tricks to saving money on our date nights, too. One is to buy your movie tickets from Costco where they sell two movie tickets for $15 vs. spending $10 each at the theater. $5 is a lot of savings! Another fun thing is that our families know we enjoy our date nights so birthdays and holidays often yield restaurant gift cards.

Lists. We love lists in this house (Okay, I love lists). We have a Home Project List, a Dream List, and an Activity List. Whenever we feel the "I'm bored itch" coming on we check our list and automatically have something to do and it's often free. Walking downtown, going to Farmer's market, Local community events, Beach Walks, Free Museums. Theme parks, unless it's Disneyland, all have coupons so you can even put a little savings aside and make that an all day date. Lists keep us accountable to spending our most valuable asset, time, wisely.

Grocery Games. Spending the time to peruse the weekly grocery store ads can be consuming as can coupon hunting, but turning it into a game makes it fun. Each week I scour the ads for what's on sale and keep my meal list to what will save me the most money. Between my Club Cards, Coupons, and Ad scouring I end up saving a lot and I'm always proud to come home and say, "Guess how much I saved today?!" Planning in advance is like putting money right back in our pockets.

Online Banking. Save on stamps, envelopes, and time! Set up automatic bill pay online and eliminate the stress and wasted time of bill paying!

Online Shopping. Using amazon.com has been a huge money saver for us with my son's supplies like diapers and wipes, especially when he was a newborn. The free shipping alone is saving gas money and the ordering eliminates the hassle of loading the midge in and out of the car as well as lets me use my time wisely--I can shop while he naps. Sites like dealnews.com are great places to find freebies like coffee at Starbucks or smoothies at Jamba Juice.

Eliminate your Land Line. If you have cell phones, you're already paying for your minutes and if you're like me, the one person you really talk to is your spouse so free mobile to mobile is better than the extra $50 for a house phone.

Fun Fund. Our fun fund is our house fund. We keep our home money in cash and as we find something we love it's not a burden to buy it. A) We don't see the money leave our bank account and have to sacrifice a weeks' worth of groceries and B) The money we're saving goes exactly to what we intended to use it for vs. being wasted on something else because we see an extra increase in our account. (*Our home fund is built as we sell things off of craigslist or put cash gifts into it)

Build the Savings Account. Our bank accounts are automatically set up to deduct a specified amount from each of our paychecks into our savings account. It's money that is a part of our budget. Yes, we budget for our savings account. We also budget for our son's savings account as well as his Education Savings Account.

So that's how we do some of it. Don't get me wrong, we continually have to work at squashing the immediate gratification bug but we are always proud when we resist! Yes, having good credit is important, thankfully we have that. But living on credit is not the way we can protect us and keep our monetary life in perspective. We love saving. It's actually really fun for us but it also takes a lot of work and adjustment if you aren't use to it. I believe you can do it though if you aren't already! Start with one thing and become great at it and then take on something new! Baby steps. One thing at a time!

How do you save?!

Treasures

Today was one of those days.
The kind that just FEELS all consuming and overwhelming.
Today though, I put on my gloves and punched my heavy heart right in the face.
I cured it with a little special something.I picked up my Midge from school and decided TODAY we would go on a date.
I would deem today our first official date.
The kind where we get an ice cream sundae
(or a frozen yogurt)
and share it with two spoons.
That kind of date.

And it was perfect.
I mean, PERFECT.
He said "mmmm"
I smiled
We got messy
I recentered-refocused-recharged.
It was worth the $4.45...SO worth it!

As we got in the car and drove away I took a moment to just tell him
"Mommy is going to be different! Mommy is going to think about what really matters MORE!
Mommy is going to start caring about what makes you and Daddy and me happy and stop worrying so much about everyone else. I promise buddy. I'm gonna try!"

And somehow, speaking those words out loud to my little boy
hearing me confess this struggle
{and eating ice cream}
seemed to make it better for today.
Come what may but chocolate & some love saved my heart today.

Christmas With My Boys

Yesterday I got to talking with one of my best friends about Christmas.

"What are you doing? Where are you going? What parties are you attending? What are you buying?"
You know, all of the standard Christmas questions.
One, however, really stuck out to me..."What are you doing with YOUR family?" She asked.
I responded, "My family? Oh, me and MY boys?
Wow...um...nothing.
Christmas is about making everyone else happy."
"You HAVE to do something with your boys. Lets think about this," and her wheels were turning.

Although she left me mid thought to get her lunch ;)
I was intrigued and kept thinking on my own.

I looked at our calendar, canceled an event that I had attempted to host, sent out the email to all who were invited and sent an evite to my husband:You are invited to Christmas with your family :)
December 18-20th we have NOTHING on the calendar and it belongs to US.
Join your son and I for the following:
Friday: Pizza & A Christmas Movie

Saturday: A Day on the coast. We'll eat burgers for lunch, visit the seals, and walk the town. That night we'll do a wagon walk downtown for hot cocoa. It will end with family movie night in bed!

Sunday: Church at Saddleback & Daddy's Rollie Pollies

Only rules are:
NO COMPUTER. NO PHONES. JUST FAMILY
Consider it a dare to us both!!

I love you,
Me

I love Christmas however this year already feels different.
I don't have the energy to decorate.
(apparently I wasted it on glittering pumpkins in October)
I don't want to buy a tree.
(I would rather donate the $60 to a family in need)
My brother will be working retail and unable to come home. My sister is going to Hawaii with her boyfriend (Lets not even talk about how I never would have been able to get away with that one!)
It will be my first Christmas entirely spent away from my family.
(Had to happen some time but doesn't mean I like it)
I'm really ready to start having Christmas with my boys not going anywhere!
(one day)

So, instead of moping --- aside from what you read above
My friend encouraged me to MAKE my own Christmas.
A little evite, a heart full of good intention, and Christmas is just around the corner!!

Oh, and my husband already RSVP'd Yes :)