Friday, September 18, 2015

Dear Starbucks....

Dear Starbucks, 

This is a story most mom's can tell, but do they?!
I'm writing on behalf of the decaffeinated, the play-date-dream-broken, & the bereaved.
I'm writing for all the moms who have planned the out-of-the-box play date, 
the women who imagined the perfect scenario playing out beside their fellow veteran(s),
& the moms who are constantly reminded of what perfect parents we were....before children.

Like most golden play dates, it begins with YOU, Starbucks.
You're the goal...the reward...nay, you give us purpose, reason & fulfillment just with ONE little cup & one emerald green straw.
Starbucks, this story is for you.

So the story starts like this...

It was a cool, crisp morning in Lake Oswego.
Leila and I were looking forward to sitting river side on the Willamette (damnit!)
The dream included a picnic blanket, beach towels, & shovels
(or kitchen spoons since we're the ultra creative type).
It had been weeks since we had seen each other & the kids kept saying (read: begging relentlessly) to play.
Why NOT try a new park, a new place to roam, an adventure?

We showed up to a serene setting.

We set up camp & threw the spoons to the kids and released them to begin creating clean, organized river dirt castles.

Oh, sweet divinity!
Leila & I would now....finally...warm our hands & bellies with liquid gold: lattes!
Grande, Skinny Vanilla, Lattes! 
(By the way, thank you, Starbucks, for making it such a great drink to order. 
"SKINNY Vanilla latte for Allegra!" the barista shouts over the fans & I'm all too confident & happy to claim it: "That's right! That's MY Skinny drink....and my cake pop...)

This is when things get good.

The kids aren't staying on the river bed...they're quickly approaching the river.
No, wait, they're IN the river.
($&!* . Oh, well. WE have Starbucks!)

Then...the unthinkable!
That cute little, old, pink haired lady with the knee brace & clearly too-much-for-her wet river soaked dog come screaming through OUR imperfectly perfect Mom Moment!

Grande SKINNY lattes & hot chocolate are E.V.E.R.Y.W.H.E.R.E
Wet river mud has caked not only us but the blanket, the beach towels, and our bodies.
Our jaws drop.
The dog is not just taking a single pass through our space but multiple.
Multiple jumpy, dirty, barky, gross passes through OUR mom moment.
It seems we now have nothing to live for.

Our children are disgusting (more so than before)
Our coffee is gone!

That's not just our fuel but it was our hard saved pennies!
That ONE thing that gets to be ours...that one SWEET, expensive, indulgent treat...
it's GONE along with our money.

We are now left with
no apology
confirmed dislike of domesticated pets
no coffee
dirty kids
& we are convinced we are on "Boiling Point"

Oh, are the reason we manage & the devastation when the cup goes forcibly dry.
You save us from our worst selves...until someone else strips us of our moment.
We may never recover.
(Well, until we save up for the next cup.)

With Love,
Allegra & Leila

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