Tuesday, June 18, 2019

On the heels of HEALING

If ever there was a song that described my story - it is AWAKENING by Amanda Lindsey Cook.  
I don’t think many know my story, but I think all should...now. Why? Because it points to the unbelievable power of Christ and His redemptive intention for each of us. 
I was diagnosed with depression when I was 14. I believe it was the onset of unfortunate life circumstances, but regardless, I was in it’s grip. I struggled with suicidal thoughts and found solace in cutting & isolation. None of it was because I wanted death, ALL of it was because I desired life & feeling. This may be impossible for the masses to understand, but for those who do, I see you. 
In 2004 I was physically healed by hands on prayer and confession that Jesus Christ was my Savior. I was set FREE from the chemical dependency! 
I, cold turkey, went off of 7 years of medication I couldn’t break on my own and was FREE!
In 2011 my second son was born & I was slammed by postpartum depression. I was medicated once again & held back from returning to work.
In 2018, a medical professional advised I come off of medication and it was a new level of Hell in physical & mental side effects that I had never faced before. The physical & mental torture were nearly unbearable. I truly believed in that season I was never, EVER, going to escape depression & now the onset of anxiety. I was being tortured at a level I could not possibly convey. I was fighting for breath. 
In May of 2019 I showed up at the #HeavenCome19 conference believing I would walk out healed. Friday morning in my hotel room, I told my husband my act of faith was not taking my pills that morning. In a new level of relationship, he held me in his arms and prayed breakthrough over me. He came along side me, went ahead of me, joined me in believing He would show up. By noon, I was standing in a crowd of 7,000 receiving healing. Kris Vallotton said he had a different message planned that morning but believed he needed to stop and pray for those struggling with anxiety & depression. 
I wish I could say I stood instantly but I was frozen. This was my moment - the one I knew held my freedom, and s-l-o-w-l-y, I was digesting the reality. 
I stood. As I did my throat began to burn - the very track my pills travelled every day manifested like it was on fire. The hands of strangers around me physically pressed in & Kris commanded the spirit of depression and anxiety to break off. I believed. 
It has been 25 days since I took my last pill & I am fully physically side effect FREE and mentally released
If you have ever been down the detox route, you know, it can produce hell on earth. There has been NO hell here. In 25 days, I have breathed, lived, & felt my healing. 
I am “no longer stuck inside a shade of blue”.
“This is my awakening.
...while my heart was fast asleep,
JESUS was resurrecting me.
I thought that I would never breathe.
I thought the pain would never leave 
But JESUS is redeeming everything.”
Jesus has healed me! 
He has restored a balance between my body & my mind!
Professionals look at me like there must be a scientific explanation. 
People who don't know Him look at me like it makes no sense.
Loved ones who know both Jesus & my 23 years of trial, see His awesome power. 
He can do what doesn't make sense, yet it ONLY makes sense within His authority, grace & love.
This is His story in me: 
“And he said to her, ‘Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace. Your suffering is over.’- Mark 5:34
My suffering is over. 
If He can do this for me, what MORE can He do for you!? 

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