Today is a hard day.
As it rains outside I find myself absolutely lost.
I am lacking the ability to think, process, move.
I feel stuck in something I should perhaps be over?
I feel totally alone.
I am not interested in talking-- the words choke me.
I want to purge but I not interested in having hands reaching into my hurt to massage the pain they don't understand.
I need something but I don't know what it is.
Today is a hard day.
I want us all to pretend it's all okay
and yet
I don't
because it's not.
I think I can safely say that today I feel depressed.
The familiar weight and inability to remember what "good" is.
The numbness that makes you want to pinch yourself just to do a "life-check."
The stillness that comes when the energy drains out and the weight of your own body is too much to lift.
I'm sitting in that today
and fighting...
no one knows how hard I am fighting for just this moment
because tomorrow could be great
but
Today is a hard day....
{image from Monko Photography}
As it rains outside I find myself absolutely lost.I am lacking the ability to think, process, move.
I feel stuck in something I should perhaps be over?
I feel totally alone.
I am not interested in talking-- the words choke me.
I want to purge but I not interested in having hands reaching into my hurt to massage the pain they don't understand.
I need something but I don't know what it is.
Today is a hard day.
I want us all to pretend it's all okay
and yet
I don't
because it's not.
I think I can safely say that today I feel depressed.
The familiar weight and inability to remember what "good" is.
The numbness that makes you want to pinch yourself just to do a "life-check."
The stillness that comes when the energy drains out and the weight of your own body is too much to lift.
I'm sitting in that today
and fighting...
no one knows how hard I am fighting for just this moment
because tomorrow could be great
but
Today is a hard day....
{image from Monko Photography}
allegra..
ReplyDeleteit is ok to let your tears flow freely...
and how i wish i was there to wrap my arms around you.
xo
I'm right there with you. I'm praying that you have strength and can wake up with a burden lifted from you...
ReplyDeleteBlessings
Nora
Believe tomorrow is another day and the rain will go away and so will your pain....
ReplyDeleteAllegra,
ReplyDeleteI wont pretend to understand what you are going through, but I will tell you I am sending your a virtual hug and you are loved. I am sorry that you are having a hard day. Remember to hold tight to God. Cry, Scream, or Yell he understands it all. He even hears our sighs. He is with us and never leaves us.
Allegra,
ReplyDeleteI wanted to let you know, about 3ish I got this song stuck in my head (good song, one of my favorites!) then when I got back to work I was prompted to check your blog. Commented to encourage you and then logged off. Well Now I feel like I need to send this to you:
Everyone needs compassion,
Love that's never failing;
Let mercy fall on me.
Everyone needs forgiveness,
The kindness of a Saviour;
The Hope of nations.
Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.
Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave.
So take me as You find me,
All my fears and failures,
Fill my life again.
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in,
Now I surrender.
My Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.
Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave.
Shine your light and let the whole world see,
We're singing for the glory of the risen King...Jesus (x2)
My Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.
Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave.
My Saviour, you can move the mountains,
You are mighty to save,
You are mighty to save.
Forever, Author of Salvation,
You rose and conquered the grave,
Yes you conquered the grave
I love you, my person.
ReplyDeleteOh sweetie I feel your pain I really do. Sending prayers your way...it will lift.
ReplyDeleteI am keeping you in my thoughts and praying that this pain will lift and a new day will be born filled with better things.
ReplyDeleteI am sending a HUGE hug your way! I can't stand days like that! Those are the days you need to truely let it all come out and cry! Tomorrow is a FRESH start! Allow yourself to realize...this is the last day for the rest of the year you will be depressed! (cheesy, yes, but thought I would attempt a smile out of you!)
ReplyDeletexoxo!!!!!